Wednesday, October 21, 2015

31 Days of 31 Horror Movies for Halloween: Day 21 - Nude for Satan



Day 21:  Nude for Satan
Via: Amazon Prime
Release Date - 1974

Synopsis: Italian Gothic horror that tells the tale of a man who stops at a remote castle hoping to get medical help for an injured woman, only to find the inhabitants mirror the darker sides of the woman and himself.

SPOILER ALERT - If you have not seen the movie do not read.

Regardless of what you're thinking, I did not put this on my list merely because of its title. Amazon recommended it and I haven't seen anything from this time period yet. Ok, I have seen some terrible horror films, but all those others tried for real, to be good. Effort was put into the narratives, the casting, the editing and execution. Nude for Satan, however, is so deliciously horrendous, it can be put into the category of bad cult films like The Room and Troll 2.

This movie is from the 70's, so have that mindset when reading the following...
For starters, it is dubbed from Italian. Whatever was lost in translation didn't help the nonsensical dialogue. Here are two actual quotes.
"Don't think about the present, think about the now."
At another point in the film: "Make yourself at home." Not more than 10 seconds later... "Think of this as your house."

The sound is the first strike. The sound stops abruptly at many times and doesn't match the video. ALL of the footsteps, regardless of location onscreen, are those of someone walking inside of a house with wooden floors. This is especially hilarious for the outdoor scenes.
The first door we see is clearly big and heavy but the sound effect used was that of a regular, small, wooden, old door.
The lightning doesn't match the thunder, not to mention there is absolutely no rain present throughout the "big storm".
The cat is obviously some man going "meow".
Mouths half-closed while laughing is clearly the audio.

The kissing is incredibly awkward and funny from both of our main characters. This is basically a soft-core porn trying to be a horror film. However, a soft-core porn has some sort of sense of reason. This, not so much.
The spider looks like a piece of dirt with sticks as legs and two cherries glued to it for eyes.

The plot makes absolutely no sense and new characters without explanation are introduced throughout the film. For some reason there are people in this "castle" who are shady and appear to be from the 1900's according to their attire. When two "modern", stranded characters wonder into the castle, they encounter (separately), their dopplegangers. I am halfway into the film and still have no idea what the hell this is about. Oh, and yes, there is nudity.

Abstract ideas can be good, but they need structure. You can't explain your film as artsy and abstract just because you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

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